


Destroy Tomboy

by MoonlighTie



Category: The Beatles
Genre: Angry John, Angst, Cruelty, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Letters, M/M, RPS - Freeform, Sad, Sassy, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 13:48:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10787925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlighTie/pseuds/MoonlighTie
Summary: After the break up of the beatles. John hates Paul.Paul is really sad, and writes a letter/story.





	Destroy Tomboy

**Author's Note:**

> My first. English. Mclennon.

Well, I should find somebody that i can recommend this story for, because without it this would be a complete mess. I’m sure.  
_Dear Johnny,_

_I haven’t heard about you nowdays. I don’t know, are you alive? Probably, you still hate every single thing what reminds me. Funny, I smile everytime when you’re in my mind. After that falsh piacid I mostly became sad. I start to see how many times I caled you. How many times I cried for you. Easy, now I know, I have tol et you go. If somebody would hates this much you have to hide. I did. I love you this much. I gived up those things what were the most important for me. I soled my soul. Now I’m just an empty body who steps, gets up, eats, and sleeps. I’m a raindrop only in the dangerous storm._   
_Why am I stil recommend this for you? Because you are the man who stick the biggest sword in me._   
_,,You’re every bridge I should have burned. Every lesson I have learned.”_

_Lots of love_   
_You’re cute tomboy._

The adults tell so much things. Mostly the parents. Teachers. They think the best about themself.  
No.  
Dumb old mans. Even if they love you, always speaking about shit. Here is an example. „The time fixes everything.” Look at yourself. You are ugly all. And you’ll be only uglier. Then you’ll die. Is the time still your best friend?  
Turning a page on the calendar can’t comfort me. Watching my scab cure on my hand can’t comfort me. The pills what you shove down on my throat won’t make me normal. I was borned to be fucked up. Nobody can fix it. I’m upset. I throw everything away from my way. I make bigger and bigger mud and it won’t be better after a year, or two. The age is only a state. Don’t blame my anger and sadness on my age. I have them ’cos you banned me to this dunghill. Why would I open my eyes on the foot of the mountain if I can’t climb it only becaouse your chain? But I know I could see the world from that high place. I won’t ever be there. It hurts. Why should I not cry?  
The school is the best time in your life. I don’t think so. I don’t want to. It would mean that there is nothing better than this hell. Who want to belive in something like this. They would like to dig you under the ground that you don’t see the sky. I’m suffering. I’m lonley. And it won’t change. What should I live for then?  
Not every smile means happiness. Not every hug has love. Not every goodbye makes tears. And it don’t hurt me to look back. There is no regret, or cry. But there is something what you can’t take away from me. Destroy.  
Let me broke everything. Let me punch a hole in the wall. And in the end when the air is quiet, and the scream has freezed to your face, let me laugh trough it.  
Not the time will blow my pain away. The cast-offs. Thrown bedding. Listened albums. Changed idols. Cutted haircurles. Shorter. Shorter. Shorter.  
„They think I’m a whore, I’m an educated virgin.”

The people looked at me all the time. The saw what they want to. The prettiest. The smartest. The funniest. The cutest. The best. They set expectations that were associated with my appearance.

– A princess like you must be really good. – Please don’t look at my room. And my grades. Actually, If you can don’t ever spaek to me. I’m not the one you looking for. I’m not innocent or beautyfull. I’m ugly inside, even if you can’t ever see. I’m dead inside my heart.  
I’ve got nothing. Only my kindness. I want to be loved like everybody else. But I hate that these nameless satans treat me like an angel. Why aren’t you listen better? How many times must I tell?  
I fear my life will end on a way that I know it has no meaning in it. Please lie to something that I can belive. Paint me a Davinci what I can pluck. I’m fearing. Really.  
Nothing can help me. Even if I’m dressed like the son of the satan right now, nobody will understand me. So many people misunderstand that I have lost my own path to myself. Where else could I run to?  
Johnny, I think I still love you. I loved others, but I recommend this for you. Does this mean something? Not much? I hope so, because if you’re happy without me I’ll hide from the whole wild world. I’ll lose my face, my freedom for you.  
What else could I say?  
The future is standing front of me, but I cant see anything. My demons blocks my eyes. I’m sick. I won’t ever be healthy. The sadness is my curse what I can’t srab off my scin. No matter how hard I try. I can’t take this costume nemad human off me.  
Everybody hates me. Seriously. I’m not like them. I hate them. It’s hard to love them this way. Who bring everything to those who holds guns to their face? Not worth a try. I always cut everybody off. And now I’m only sending back these letters from the home of wastelands.  
Who will know me?  
I want to shine ont he sky like a star. I want to be with the gods and look down to those who has tortured me. Wave to them, and they will understand that I don’t belong there. They will make me god. The sword thrusts cause my blood, from which I can build my own world.  
This is the reasen why am I recommending this story for you. I never start bleeding if you don’t cut my flesh.


End file.
